exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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