we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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