Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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