so explain again why im purple
no
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
