I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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