her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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