You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize