Can Purell be used as lube?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
