its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
