You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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