please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
