my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
