i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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