Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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