I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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