Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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