She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I want to be your penis for a week.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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