this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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