I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
