There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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