I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
