I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
