Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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