It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
