do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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