so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
