need another drink. this is the easiest way
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
