I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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