dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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