why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I love you. Go after that dick
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