an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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