I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
