I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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