I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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