I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
