Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
