the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
