O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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