If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
