Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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