did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
