I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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