I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize