Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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