I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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