I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
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and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
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It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?