I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.