it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.