I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
wakey wakey hands off snakey
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i love accidental penises.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's