Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.