Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...