4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
