Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
