Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
