remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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