I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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