when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
