You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
