i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
