i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
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just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
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How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There's even glitter on my cock...
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