Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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