At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
