we're chasing vodka with high fives
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
