You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
