no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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