I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize