no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
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I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
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I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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