I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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