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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
